From Gravy-Train To Bread-Line

A Hungry Man

A Hungry Man

On Tuesday, the Telegraph scandal of MPs’ expenses reached Leeds, or rather, reached one of the homes of Fabian Hamilton MP. You can read the report here:

In 2004, the MP admitted over-claiming on his expenses by nearly £3,000, charging for the full cost of his mortgage as well as the interest-only element to which he was entitled. The £300 a month error came to light only when the Commons fees office asked him to produce his mortgage statement.

And, if anyone is wondering “How do these people sleep at night?”, the answer in Mr Hamilton’s case is: “Probably quite well on his tax-payer-purchased £800 bed!”

“But let’s us not judge too quickly”, warns Tiberius, “There may have been extenuating circumstances…”

Yesterday, Hamilton posted his excuses explanations on his website, while the YEP reported that :

The MP told the YEP that he normally claims £400 a month for food, which he thinks is still less than is actually needed.

He said: “There are times when I have constituents down here and I take them out for a meal and it costs me £100. I bet it costs more than £400 a month to eat out in London and not to buy your own food and cook.”

Yes, you read that right – not only has Mr Hamilton been selflessly performing a (British tax-payers subsidised) ‘wining and dining’ of the plebs, he is experiencing difficultly in trying to run this Samaritan-like service on his meagre £400 a month food allowance!

Perhaps members of Mr Hamilton’s constituency of Leeds North East may now realise that their saintly MP, while generously  feeding the public on their own tab, has himself been going without. Tiberius therefore suggests that they consider clubbing together to send their MP a much-needed food-parcel.

For those outside the boundary, or just reluctant to contribute to this food-aid programme (though Tiberius is confident any donations will be tax-deductable) they may consider simply dropping off some food at Hamilton’s constituency office at 335 Roundhay Road, Leeds, LS8 4HT.  Take rice, flour, grain, whatever you can spare!

Please fill out the form below saying what you can contribute to this “Hungry, Hungry Hamilton Appeal”.

(Oh, and if anyone has a spare calculator or abacus that they could donate,  it would greatfully received.  Mr Hamilton has had a little trouble keeping track of his finances of late – no doubt due to starvation-induced exhaustion.)

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Published in: on May 15, 2009 at 12:29 pm  Comments (15)  
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15 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. haha, brilliant!

    I have an old can of kidney beans that I will happily donate to such a worthy cause!

  2. If’d only know the man was treating constituents to dinner then I would’ve written him a few more letters in the hope of an invite. Of course it would be cruel to take advantage of a person’s generosity when they and their family are on the very brink of destitution. I will gladly donate a can or two of nutritious corned beef to this worthwhile cause!

  3. It must have been Knorring away at his conscience.

    Ah! Bisto!

    Cue Hovis brass band and scene of terraced street close to t’ mill

  4. Perhaps we can send him some lard so he can rub it on his body and keep warm in the winter.

  5. I’ve got a Morrison’s own-brand can of sweet corn he can have. Its past the sell-by date but it should be fine.

    How do all these mistakes get made considering they get secretarial and admin allowances as well?

  6. My pet pig has some leftover swill. Would that do?

  7. If he is determined to take all the inhabitants of Leeds North East out to dinner I can recommend a very good fish’n’chip restaurant near the Balls Pond Road. It’s normally £5.99 for a fish supper two slices and a cuppa tea, but I expect they would do a deal if he became a regular customer.

  8. After reading the article I feel quite sick. I’ll post him the contents of my stomach

  9. I’d be more than willing to chuck a few eggs and mouldy tomatoes his way.

  10. I’ve got a nice tin of squid which I think might be off. He’ll be able to spend a lot of time at stool so there’ll be no excuses for being behind with paperwork. And he won’t wear that nice bed out.

    He can always consult Reid or that seagoing waiter with the ugly mug on which bog seats are the most durable.

  11. I had an email exchange with this troughing porker just before the Telegraph published the dirt – and he told me:

    “Yes, I do spend three, sometimes on rare occasions, four nights a week at the flat in London and occasionally come down at a weekend”

    So it’s not £100 a week for food, it’s about £30 a day. And considering that you can eat superb meals in the subsidised restaurants in Westminster for around three quid, his explanation just doesn’t wash.

    Thieving twat.

  12. I just don’t know how to feel about this, but yes I bet he sleeps very well at night.

  13. We subsidise morgages and/or pay rent. In addition MPs have claimed for kitchen installation and kitchen equipment. We also provide subsidised canteen facilites which apparently are of the standard of a good London restaurant. Therefore, in meeting the need to provide facilites for cooking and readily available meals at their place of employment, I fail to see why we should also pay a food allowance. It seems the Honourable Members want the lot. Subsistence should only be paid when staying in a hotel. If MPs have to wine and dine others in pursuit of their business then they can legitimately make a claim for tax relief. They are all a disgrace. Do not tell me they all work hard when some of them have outside jobs, rarely have surgeries (this is my personal experience) and lengthy holidays. Do not tell me they should be paid any more salary. People are queuing up for their jobs. If they feel they should be paid more then they should leave their job and pursue an alternate career. I have read on the Parliament site previous occupations of MPs and it is interesting to see how this has changed over the years. Yes, some MPs were lawyers and some would have earnt more money if they were prepared to work long hours, have little holiday and pay huge sums into a pension fund which would match that of the Commons. Not all lawyers are up to this standard and many earn less than MPs. In my opinion, many of those in the Commons were not high fliers in their professions otherwise they would not have given up lucrative careers. I cringe every time I hear them say they reduced their salary to join the Boy’s Club at Westminster. It is as if somehow they are doing us all a favour. Derek Conway stated this recently in the house as to did Mr Malik when being interviewed about his expenses claim. The concept of public service somehow does not rate high in many MPs minds. Perhaps we should accept that those who represent us now see themselves as professional politicians and we need to determine the worth of such people and were they fit into the needs of society. With much of our legislation coming from Europe, issues dealt with by MPs could easily be rectified through a citizens advice bureau. We should reduce the numbers by 50%. Those remaining should receive the same salary as a Social Worker. This is being generous to our elected representatives as Social Workers have a moral compass and work for the public good.

  14. He looks quite porky on this allowance. Is the beard hiding a large double chin? Is it true he is also a member of the committee for Famine in Africa and chairman of the Porky Pies MPs website?

    The more they protest the more we see right through them. Greedy, grasping, mendacious bastards all of them and especially this plump smug pig.

  15. I entirely concur, not only are they grasping individuals but potentialy dangerous one’s, especialy now. I have a theory that all politicians are in fact sociopaths, and recent events have confirmed this. Now that we all know they have a bona fide phsycopothy, there’s a slim chance of having them sectioned under the mental health act. Furthermore, they declined to exempt themselves from being bound by this Act in favour of the tax one’s, reasoning that the public are in fact mad to have put up with them in the first place, ergo they are sane. So, there we have it! Put them all in a rubber room and tell them it’s a Parliament and they can pass their insane laws to their hearts content, and we get on with business in the real world!


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