Feed Your MP


 A message from the Hungry, Hungry Hamilton Appeal Headquarters:

“Dear Generous Surfers,

We are so glad that, like Tiberius Leodis, you have been moved by the tragic tale of  Mr Fabian Hamilton MP.

As you know,  like so many other perished parliamentarians,  Mr Hamilton has spent the last few years scraping by on a meagre £400-a-month food allowance.  Not only this, but he has seen fit to share what little he has with us voters – such is the nature of this modern-day saint.

We’re chocked that you, the people, have shown a hunger to ensure this situation will change.

Blessed Surfer, like us, you must beleve that these two sad facts – the over-claiming and the starvation – are tragically yet inextricably linked: a well-nourished MP would simply never have made such basic mathematical errors that Mr Hamilton has recently been the victim of.

You too have realised that it is our responsibility as voters to make ensure that such treatment will never again be ladeled out in our so-called civilized society; we must step up to and fill the plate; in short, we must feed our MPs.

For this reason, newly-formed, power-pop quarter FABBA have composed a short song to inspire people to this task and they hope you are able to sing along to it as you empty your cupboards.

The Hungry-Hungry Hamilton Appeal has begun to gather momentum and a veritable banquet of delights have already been offered. However,  like our MP, we are still not satisfied.

Many hundreds of people have viewed this appeal in the last couple of days, yet only a small fraction of those hits have turned into potential parliamentary-calories.

We understand that there is a recession on and people are, perhaps, worrying about their own bare cupboard more than they usually might.  We  feel that if they only more people knew of Mr Hamilton and understood the true meaning of his story, they would be inspired and regain the appetite to contribute more to their over-worked and under-fed representatives. So please, help this song spread thickly around the country so it can touch the lives of others.

After all , what greater gift could a citizen in a democracy hope for than to see the smiling, well-fed face of their Member of Parliament?

And who can put a price on the peace of mind that comes from knowing that, when they next file their expenses claims, your representative will not be doing so on an empty stomach?

With a little luck, and lot of food, together we will ensure that Mr Hamilton will not starve until at least the end of this session of parliament. Not only this but, like a child with a well-stocked lunchbox, we also hope that he will be in a position to spread this bounty among his colleagues in Westminster.

Please continue to donate generously and share (“Hamiltonise”) the song with your family and friends. This important campaign is only just beginning and time is already against us: who know’s what these hunger-crazed MPs may do next?

The Hungry, Hungry Hamilton Appeal Team

Note: This campaign has been helped in no small part by the support of Guido Fawkes at Order-Order – a Samiratan of almost Hamiltonian proportions.”

See also: From Gravy-Train To Bread Line [Caution: Not to be viewed while eating]